hunger
Sometimes I am absolutely derailed by a huge and awesome hunger, a deep deep down craving. For what? Well, everything. It's as if to balance out the Everything there's also this No-thing inside me which is a black hole. I used drugs to try and fill it, I ran after men and sex to fill it, cried to daddy, cried to God.
But nothing sates it for long. Not for long. Because it's an existential hunger. It is the balance of the feast of life, the yin for life's yang. And somewhere between fullness and starvation we live our lives.
So I decided to climb off the wheel of life and death, and get some perspective on the whole darn thing. Zazen rocks.
But nothing sates it for long. Not for long. Because it's an existential hunger. It is the balance of the feast of life, the yin for life's yang. And somewhere between fullness and starvation we live our lives.
So I decided to climb off the wheel of life and death, and get some perspective on the whole darn thing. Zazen rocks.
posted by Gaelin at 6:39 PM
7 Comments:
Who or what is Zazen???
I don't think the hunger ever leaves...maybe it is because we don't know ourselves that well...but I don't know if that is the answer either...because, how can an existential hunger be filled in completely by a concept? But then, it hurts, sometimes, to have to say that we need others to help complete us. But, only through others, can we enunciate ourselves...only through others, do we see our possibilities. At least, that is what I think.
Zazen is the art of sitting, practised by people who seek enlightenment (ie understanding). Not very well known in the West, it is one of the foundations of Buddhism, and is the ONLY practice that has EVER given me space to breathe outside the constraints of life and death, without the hang overs, the flashbacks and the general psychosis that usually pervade the other practices.
You're right, no concept can sate the hunger :) Other people can help us understand what we hunger for, but even they can't sate it!
I like what you said about how other people help us see our possibilities. They reflect back to us things that we wouldn't notice on our own.
Tom Gleason is one of my 'virtual friends'...and I used to enjoy reading about his personal journey with Buddhism...from a blog that recently decided to take down. He is a quite an intelligent person. It has been great to have a friend, like a brother, to talk to over the past year or so. Anyway, what he wrote in his blog, I found very interesting. And he never shyied away from any of my well-meaning, and sometimes, challenging inquiries or observations. It helped the both of us "sort things out" in our heads better when we were both struggling with things...to be a sounding board for each other...even though we were each on own personal journey.
Thank you...
I just wanted to say thank you.
Great flickr slideshow...btw.
Beautiful kids...I love the "Up Close and Personal" shot of them together...that is priceless. With those two in your life, I bet you have many sunny days together.
Betty's Bay looks beautiful too...is that where you were snorking (or diving)?
Kids are amazing. Also completely exhausting! I started young with the whole motherhood thing, so our little family has it's ups and downs...
Betty's Bay is up the coast, we went there on a romantic, once in a blue moon weekend getaway. We usually snorkle closer to home (Antoine dives, and I hover on the surface watching it all!) Cape Town is great for that sort of thing. What part of the world are you writing from? Can't see any mention of location on your blog...
That sounds delightful!
I am from Lansing, Michigan, USA...born and raised here. I get to travel a lot in the US, especially with my job...but other than Canada (for my sons' hockey trips)...I don't get to travel that much outside the country. I have been to England before...and I have some family that lives there (since my grandmother was from Liverpool)...but, I would love to travel abroad...and see some of the wonderful places in the world that I have heard about. I have heard that Cape Town is one such place...but I haven't heard that much about it.
The only time I have snorkled was when my wife and I went on a cruise to Grand Cayman (and other places nearby) on our honeymoon. It was wonderful...the coral, the fish...they were so beautiful! So, yes...it is a romantic thing to do!!!
Hey, gaelin, if you ever want to chat...my email is on my website (I don't happen to see yours)...and I have msn messenger running all day on my office computer...a couple of my friends and I do that...and, I can certainly invite you...if you ever want to do that. Just let me know, okay? That way, I can tell you more about myself. It has been a real pleasure to 'meet' you...and to hear what you have to say. :+)
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