Friday, February 03, 2006

I started blogging for two reasons. The first was as a means of meeting and connecting with like-minded people, and the second was as an outlet for all the thoughts and feelings that I wouldn't necessarily share with the people around me.

I've only been at it for a few months now, but I've come to some conclusions. It is not an easy form of communication. Perhaps even harder than face to face interaction. It is very difficult to 'read' people through the sentance or two that they cast my way. Usually I am reading facial clues and body posture, as well as tone of voice. In the blogsphere things are stark. I'm not sure if I like that.

I think I made a mistake by not forming a virtual identity for myself. I thought it was pretentious to make up a new name and and identity. Now I can see the measure of protection it can afford. I am exquisitely sensitive most of the time. That's why I avoid people. I prefer my own company, and into that I allow a very few others who I've learnt to trust.

I thought the virtual remove would make interaction safer, in terms of being a buffer between me and everyone else. Doesn't seem like it though.

So, I'm not going to blog anymore, and if I do it will be within a very different context. I'm toying with the idea of deleting this blog altogether, but it seems that I'm pretty attached to all the 'work' I've done and I can't quite hit the 'undo' button just yet. Some attachments are convenient, others are burdens. This is feeling rather burdensom...