I've started a new painting (I know I've mentioned this already) but the difference with this one is that I'm going to be posting my progress on my art site. That way anyone who's interested in the art process can watch a new piece take shape. I think it'll be fun.

In other news, my dad has emailed me recently to ask if he can stay with us when he comes to SA over Christmas. We haven't seen him since Micaela was a babe in diapers (he's never even met Alex) so it will be great. I'm a bit nervous, don't know him very well, but what better way to get re-aquainted than to chat over breakfast, with bleary eyes and tussled hair? Getting down to basics :)

this whole blog thing

Is really strange, don't you think? I mean, here we are, all over the world, sharing our personal diaries with anyone who's interested. It's a whole new social order. On the net there's no need for dishonesty, for game playing. We can just be completely ourselves, and it's safe.

Not like that in the 'real' world! Out there you have to worry about all the possible faux pas, subliminal signals, body language, eye contact and what not to say. I've often had people look at me real funny and then change the subject so as not to have to comment on what i've just said. People can only handle a certain amount of honesty at a time. Well, most people anyway.

But on the net, if you don't like what someone is saying, you just don't visit their blog again! Simple. And if you do like what they are saying, you have the chance to make a friend.

One day we will be able to create virtual personalities that will interact with eachother through the web, like an extension of ourselves which we can create according to our whims.

As long as we remember that the real world is the place were all the action happens. Then the net can be like a dream, a dream that we can control and play with any way we like.

back again...

Funny how a few days can seem like a lifetime! Maybe 'cos so much happens, my life is constantly changing, growing. It's so cool. I've started getting into the whole html thing (thats coder talk for 'web page design') I feel like I have the world at my fingertips :)

So much potential for dialogue and fusion with the web. Its awesome.

I met with my mom for a quick cuppa this morning, after dropping the kids off at school. She's doing so well, looking radiant. Next year she wants to set up her own healing practice. She's been studying alternative healing methods for a while now, and she's almost ready to take the plunge! I'm so excited for her.

I'm planning a new painting. There's a blank canvas on my easle and a whole lot of ideas in my head. This one is gonna be different form anything I've done before. I'm using a photo as a base to work from, I've only ever painted from imagination so this is going to be a challenge. Yay. I love challenges.

alexfaerie

alexfaerie
Originally uploaded by Gaelin.

faeries

micaelafaerie
Originally uploaded by Gaelin.

I was playing on photoshop a while ago. It's amazing what modern tech can do! Alex and Micaela loved the transformation :)

gone

So she is gone and the only way i can deal with that is by sitting very still and breathing and remembering that this is all maya this is all passing this is all illusion. It has been three years now and she is still gone her absence has not changed has not grown it is a constant it will always be a constant the only constant. So i breathe and I count and when i get to the space where even the counting stops then i know and i am relieved for a while until my thoughts start again my attachments come back online my needs and desires take hold. I want to sit and sit and sit like Siddartha but i don't have a tree and i have so many excuses and maybe I even like my attachments.

The Four Noble Truths:

life is suffering

the cause of suffering is known

suffering can be bought to an end

following the eightfold path is a practice that ends suffering

Sunday afternoon...

Just made the most delicious vegetable lasagne ever. The kids didn't like it (what's new?). Cooking for fussy kids is no fun.

I've just figured out the whole 'html' thing, so I have finaly put my art on the net! It's a rather simple site, as sites go, but my paintings are there in all their glory, and that's what counts ;)

In other news my ex has reared his nasty (albeit pretty) head again, and is making noises about 'claiming' his kids. I mean, honestly, where does he get off? I'm not too worried, just a little trepidatious about an ugly scene in the near future. Don't want the kids to get hurt. And when my ex is in the picture, people get hurt all over the place.

But I am strong, and I am not afraid. Nobody's gonna be bullying this girl anytime soon.

My tat...

tattoo2jpg
Originally uploaded by Gaelin.

It's healing and I love it

new me :)

Thought I should update my profile picture...
Back to getting uncertain looks from strangers...familiar territory once again (LoL)

family...

Thought i should post some pictures of my bambinos. Little shining stars. Doting moms of the world unite! (and for those of you who hate the idea of progeny...just you wait :)

Btw, that's me with the close cropped hairdo... decided i needed a change of identity. Liberation!

friends...

Doing a lot of thinking over my birthday, birthdays are very contemplative for me...I had a few people over last night to celebrate and I was thinking how I'd rather they not be there at all. I've often been called anti-social, I guess when it comes to people I just don't quite see what all the fuss is about.

I was chatting to Ant about all this and his theory is that unless you have common ground with someone, it's almost impossible to trust them, hence there will be no space for an emotional connection. And obviously without an emotional connection there can be no real friendship. The sad thing is that when it come's down to it, Ant is probably my only real friend. Everyone else is like a hanger on...they just don't interest me. How on earth do I find people who interest me?

It's my birthday!

Yay! And to celebrate I got my first tattoo. I'll download a picture of it once it's healed. I had it done by a woman (stylin) whose name is Morag (for those of you who don't know me that's my mother's name.) Thought that was a really nice touch :) portentious kinda.

Also got a huge tub of Woolworths Liquirice Allsorts (better than any other allsorts, ever) from Antoine and a truly beautiful bunch of roses from his mother. Tonight I'm having cheesecake to celebrate and gathering a few of my nearest and dearest together...Ahhh, this is the life...

(damn that tattoo was sore!)

heavy sky

Today is really hot, the sky feels like it's sitting on my back. There must be a high pressure zone over the city or something. This kind of day always makes me feel uncomfortable. When I went to pick the kids up from school, Micaela (who's 7) had a huge frown on her face and said "Mommy, I think I'm being haunted, everything feels so scary!"

I explained to her that just as there are people can see very well and people who can hear or read or draw very well, there are also people who can 'feel' very well. She was a little less apprehensive after I explained how the weather can affect the feelings of some people. Now we just need a thunder storm! Oh! I love the release of the lightening. Like a huge power conduit in the sky!

Tomorrow I'll be 27. Maybe I'll get a thunder storm for my birthday :)

Married to a software developer

Are all software developers obsessed with their work? I made the mistake of assuming that because my boyfriend's offices were attached to our home that I would see more of him. Ha,ha. Having the office so close to home means that at 11:30 pm after a lovely dinner and two glasses of wine he can 'pop' up to the office before coming to bed. 15 minutes to a software developer is closer to an hour for the rest of us. Something about sitting down in front of a computer changes the experiential nature of time. I have that too, when I sit down to surf or write or whatever. How the hell are families s'posed to survive with more than one computer in the house to swallow all their time?

crash..

I was in an accident today! Just as I was getting confident in my driving skills! I guess that goes to show that you can't relax too much behind the wheel. I've only beem driving on my own for the last week now. Pretty silly to be as old as I am and still be a learner driver but it just worked out that way and before I knew it I'm almost 30 and without a drivers licence.

I wonder how much I'm gonna have to pay for the other car to get fixed. My car is fine, it's a 1990 Ford which is built like a box and seems to be able to withstand anything. The other car is not so fortunate however. Brand new 4x4. Need I say more? And I don't have insurance! Damn! I wish i could roll back time and make it unhappen.

Click

Ah, ok I got it now.

Where is my post? I can't see it...

So now

So now I've got a blog! Took a while to win me over to the idea, but the I guess the shy little extrovert waited patiently for long enough : ) Living in South Africa you could almost forgive me for being behind the times (almost)

My kids are in bed (yes, two of them) my 27th birthday is just around the corner, my ex is threatening to take me to court over seeing the bambinos in the summer holidays (haven't seen him in two years and now he wants custody?!) and I am seriously considering signing up for a degree programme next year. Better late than never : )

That about sums it up... Oh, and the marriage which was s'posed to happen last month but didn't (rainchecked) and the wonderful man who has agreed to this lifelong deadly serious commitment. Ahhh. Next year January. Definately.