This is a picture I drew during a particularly idealistic phase. I like the feeling of innocence it portrays. She is one of my many personas. The girl-child. Then there are the more hardcore ones, the destructive Kali personalites...
The way I see it, we are all composed of different personas, which we use like tools. Every time I react I am following a particular script which is familiar to a particular persona. As long as I am aware of this I can choose how I react, thus changing the reaction into an action, which is then free of any conceptual persona or personality attachments.
This action is as close to the real me as I can get. And the personas serve a purpose. I think it was St Paul who said "I am all things to all people"; meaning that when he was with the Greeks, he was a Greek, When he has with the Romans, he was a Roman. That way whoever he was keeping company with could feel relaxed and able to relate. So my personas allow me to work with other people in a manner which they find comfortable. This however is not the most relaxing thing for me, because using a tool requires effort, and that is why I generally avoid people.
posted by Gaelin at 9:37 PM
1 Comments:
I don't like scripts at all.
A "script" is what I call on my blog a "subject of a statement." And what you call an "action," I call a "subject of enunciation."
We have scripts, yes...
We play various roles, yes...
We hold various responsibilities, yes...
Holding a title...
or having a birthright to something...
will open doors (give us access) to other people and to various experences we would not otherwise have, yes...
Paul certainly benefitted from that...and talk about "access"...the man, supposedly, even had access to heaven (so that he could tell others what he saw there)...but, it also made him boast.
In 2nd Corinthians, chapter 12, Paul says...
"7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. 8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9 And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
My interpretation: having "a subject of a statement" is necessary...(it may get you into heaven)...but being "all things to all people" is not enough (since it cannot get you into people's hearts). So, God gave us something better...in the form of a "subject of enunciation" (i.e., a thorn that never stops disturbing us)...so that we can really feel our weaknesses...and so that we can, through our experiences, become a greater source of encouragement and support and strength and grace to those who need it and are suffering likewise. Boasting in a title or image may "win people" through persuassion and power, but it will not give us the ability to reach people's hearts, which is where the "real" kingdom of God resides.
Okay...enough of that...
I think that you got to the "crux of it" when you said that "the action is as close to the real me as I can get."
Furthermore, I agree that "using a tool (or script) requires effort."
Why is that?
Because our soul was "wonderfully made" to express itself; that is it's primary purpose; it takes extra work to manage our various "created selves" better...because, that is not it's primary purpose.
Real living, to me, is about expression; not about management.
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